Paying double attention in class, being double focus in teaching, keeping my feelings aside and being as normal as i can...
All these are the things that i can do to hide away my sadness and feelings.
Please forgive me for not telling anything because i want to overcome it all by myself.
I told myself, 'I can do it!'
But when comes to night, i'm totally a loser, a big loser.
I asked myself, do i want to continue? Can i still continue? Will i have the courage to continue?
I can't answer all these questions.
The only thing i know is that without him, i feel very lonely but also i'm not stressful with every word i say, i am able to express freely whatever thoughts that come into my mind, i don't feel i'm pressing for time to do anything.
Maybe i am really waiting for things to happened like he said.
What do you think?
I don't think i have the courage to face him anymore.
This is because standing in front of him, i feel very useless, small and i had lose self-confidence.
Our love, where?
I can't find it anymore.
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