Friday, March 26, 2010
Must it always be me?
I'm so puzzled and confused now. Must it always be me that make you angry? Are you sure that you know me thoroughly? Please think again. My mood will not be the same in everyday single day. I will feel tired, angry, worried and annoyed at times. So does you right? This is not fair to me. I just don't understand, really don't understand. I really don't want all these, really don't want. I really have no idea how long i can take it. I know it's stupid to hurt myself because of you but i had to find a way to vent out my frustration. I really can't bottled up all the frustration inside me. Please tell me how to do and what should i do.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
This is part of growing up.
Today went back to school for meeting. This is the first time i did not take whatever the new Principal's words to heart. i have no idea what is wrong with my mind. When i saw May, ms Seck, Hana, shahidra were so angry by the Principal's words, i was so calm down and did not make too much comments or you could say i just do not want to be involved. Maybe i felt that there is no point barking onto the same old problem. New principal step in, without building relationships with teachers and knowing the culture and environment, she started to implement things and making remarks. As we always said, 新官上任三把火, maybe this is what she want to show us.
I thanked May for telling me something that i was not aware for the past few days. Get to know that ms Agnes had made some remarks on my manner saying that i seem to be having 小姐脾气. For the first time, i did not defence, not because i admit but knowing that i do not have to do such an action. I know that my temper may not be good at times especially when i had to handle work, children and assignments. The kind of stress is difficult to explain, all i need is people around me to support me and leave me alone to handle the things which i need to.
Also, after hearing from May about her problem and doubts, i did gave her some suggestions. I'm not sure what is the reason but i felt that my thinking had differ from three years back. I could understand people better in their situation and not giving suggestions on one sided. Knowing that May might leave, i still told her this 'if you feel that which ever decisions you had made will make you happy, go for it'. Though deep down in my heart i know that she is worry for me and having her as a partner is great, i also do not want to loss this great partner. But, i know that i cannot be so selfish, one day, i will still have to stand on my feet to learn and mature. This is what i told her. I felt at ease and relief after telling her all these and i can say that I'm really very fortunate to have May as my partner cum colleague, i really learn a lot from her.
After work, i happened to bump into my sec school npcc mate, guo en. As usual, everytime see him he will be smoking, today he was with his gf. I started to observe not because i had nothing better to do, but in my mind i was thinking, does every guy treat their gf the same way? I started to puzzled. True enough, i saw something similar as my bf did to me. The both of them had the same expression and tone when telling their gf to move aside as the bicycles are coming towards her direction. I was so surprised! On the bus i started to think about it. Does a relationship makes a woman go stupid or silly? My answer is yes! Take the above example, knowing that the bicycles are coming near us and we can stand there without noticing, i think i'm really very stupid and silly. This is so obvious! But there can be another reason because in our eyes, we could only see our bf, other things out there are transparent to us. Haha. Love is blind.
Perhaps, to eliminate scoldings and naggings, i think i had to be alert and be careful in future.
=)
I thanked May for telling me something that i was not aware for the past few days. Get to know that ms Agnes had made some remarks on my manner saying that i seem to be having 小姐脾气. For the first time, i did not defence, not because i admit but knowing that i do not have to do such an action. I know that my temper may not be good at times especially when i had to handle work, children and assignments. The kind of stress is difficult to explain, all i need is people around me to support me and leave me alone to handle the things which i need to.
Also, after hearing from May about her problem and doubts, i did gave her some suggestions. I'm not sure what is the reason but i felt that my thinking had differ from three years back. I could understand people better in their situation and not giving suggestions on one sided. Knowing that May might leave, i still told her this 'if you feel that which ever decisions you had made will make you happy, go for it'. Though deep down in my heart i know that she is worry for me and having her as a partner is great, i also do not want to loss this great partner. But, i know that i cannot be so selfish, one day, i will still have to stand on my feet to learn and mature. This is what i told her. I felt at ease and relief after telling her all these and i can say that I'm really very fortunate to have May as my partner cum colleague, i really learn a lot from her.
After work, i happened to bump into my sec school npcc mate, guo en. As usual, everytime see him he will be smoking, today he was with his gf. I started to observe not because i had nothing better to do, but in my mind i was thinking, does every guy treat their gf the same way? I started to puzzled. True enough, i saw something similar as my bf did to me. The both of them had the same expression and tone when telling their gf to move aside as the bicycles are coming towards her direction. I was so surprised! On the bus i started to think about it. Does a relationship makes a woman go stupid or silly? My answer is yes! Take the above example, knowing that the bicycles are coming near us and we can stand there without noticing, i think i'm really very stupid and silly. This is so obvious! But there can be another reason because in our eyes, we could only see our bf, other things out there are transparent to us. Haha. Love is blind.
Perhaps, to eliminate scoldings and naggings, i think i had to be alert and be careful in future.
=)
Friday, March 12, 2010
It's holidays!
It's been three months plus after the start year 2010, life had be very busy, hectic and changes are made. I felt so relief that now i am having my vocation. It's like FINALLY! After a hard work for 5 months with piles and piles of assignments, tests and practicum. Now only left with one more which is the practicum lesson plans and reflections.
This coming week is the March holiday. Yesterday was offically my last working day for Term 1! I survive with my new class! *Please clap for me! I'm going to really get a good and well rest this 1 month holiday to recharge my battery before proceeding to the next semester.
Well, i shall proceed with my lesson plans and reflections and my students portfolio. I shall also relax myself. =)
This coming week is the March holiday. Yesterday was offically my last working day for Term 1! I survive with my new class! *Please clap for me! I'm going to really get a good and well rest this 1 month holiday to recharge my battery before proceeding to the next semester.
Well, i shall proceed with my lesson plans and reflections and my students portfolio. I shall also relax myself. =)
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